I was terrified. Every time I thought about doing it, I started crying. When I thought of others, giving it their all, I cried more.There was NO WAY I would participate.
Then my sister said she was going, and taking her daughters, and immediately, my hackles went up and I thought "I must go to protect them." Fear had me in its grip, and I was reacting to the situation.
The day before the event, my darling sister also started to feel the fear, deciding it wasn't the best idea to go with the girls, and she and I planned instead to go for a run in the morning while her daughters played at Grandma's house for an hour or so.
This morning, I woke up from terrible nightmares, and knew - I had to go march.
This may be the biggest event I will ever see happen in my lifetime. I needed to be present, and support my fellow feline feminine goddesses.
Further influenced by some very important women in my life (all starting with dear sister's desire to STAND UP for our rights), we went together - my nieces safely at Grandma's and found our way, in the pouring rain, to the Women's March in Portland.
I have never been political here, and to be clear - this is truly not about politics, this is about Human Rights. This is about life as we know it to be - NOW - In America as women, men, queer, of all religions and all nationalities and races, and keeping the momentum moving forward.
The March was full of love, peaceful protests, comedic signs, uplifting words, and really, SO MUCH LOVE.
As we shuffle-stepped our way, holding hands, into the crowded street to begin our slow procession through the city, I found myself giggling at many of the signs that touched my heart, and my eyes were constantly welling up with tears.
This is what matters. Supporting one another.
This past Tuesday, I found myself at the Library, to check out a book for the first time in my new city, and drifted over to browsing the movie titles after picking up my book in "holds" section. Suddenly, Suffragette was staring at me from the shelf marked "S". My first thought was "that's an appropriate movie to watch, now," as I have started fearing my rights may be taken away from me under this new administration.
Today and tonight have been eye-opening.
I know that the movie is not exactly historically accurate, but I learned how naive I have been about the struggles women have suffered. And how much effort, sacrifice, and strength it has taken to get to this point, our present.
I have so much respect for the women who have come before me.
To all my elders: please accept my belated gratitude for all that you have done for me, and every woman, so we can live our lives more freely, working toward the equality that should be the born right of every person.
And so help me, I will do my damnedest to help keep those rights for each and every woman in this country.
I am not a confrontational person by nature (this introvert does not like conflict), but I can tell you that today, a part of me was awakened that I often try to hide, even from myself. I have only once in my life - before today's march - been involved in any activism (2000 Election get-out-the-vote campaign - anyone else jump on that wagon?), and I generally have side-stepped political conversations (or confrontations) in the past.
But now is the time to take action.
I am no longer a sidelines person. I have decided this evening to find a local organization to join and get involved in for (at least) the next four years (open to suggestions from those of you who are more plugged in than I). The Women's March is a good start, but we have a lot of work to do, and many more days of truth-speakingto do, and I intend to lend my voice to this cause.
Because women [and everyone] are worth it.
I know this post may be controversial, and I hope that, no matter your party affiliation, you can see the truth in the purpose of today's Global Women's Marches: The people's peace movement for the rights of all.
I pray that we can all continue to lift each other up, find levity in each day to stay positive, and stand up when we are called to do what is right.
with - so much - love for all, Goodnight.~Alaina